This is the first question my new mentor asked me at our first meeting on Monday. I was having an off day so all I can remember is fumbling for words and struggling with the why. She also told me she sees a very inward person and my art is very personal. She does not see me interacting in the art world in any way. I've since taken a few days to really think about everything she told me. At first, I was upset and slightly angry at myself, but I'm now ready to apply her information to what I am doing. After all, the mentor is there as an objective viewer to help us grow right?
Things my mentor said about my current work:
It's too didactic. Stop teaching the viewer and let them have their own experience.
I need to navigate my thoughts more fluidly.
I need to bring more depth to my subject not just my own emotions. Really research my subject and get involved in my interest.
Find a way to make other people interested in the work. Make them want to care about it.
Study artists that are working in war and military.
Above all, expand my thinking. The sky is the limit and try new avenues.
With all of this information it really made me stop and think about what I am doing. I am using the trace, an insignificant object and imbuing it with identities and memories. I need to find a way to make this information come across in an interesting way. I need the viewer to have an experience without having me there to explain the deeper meaning. Maybe I need to draw on my graphic design background to make these objects speak for themselves. She was not interested in the small images and objects, but I think I've come to realize from the residency that that is a personal opinion, and I have to decide on the size for myself. She recommended I work with just the color field aspect of the ribbons in a larger format.
So with all of this information I am now soldiering forward. As for why I want to be an artist...I still don't have an answer for her that is anything other than a selfish egotistical reason. I can't physically work. Some days I can't physically make art or take care of the house. I live in chaos with my boyfriend and he is very understanding. I will never be the artist that is physically capable of installing massive projects and jet setting around the country. I will probably never be able to physically participate in an artist residency. My body may be hard to work with now, and in the future I may not have control over it, but for now I do. I know I want to create beautiful things for people to enjoy. I want to teach people that are eager to learn artistic skills. I want to share this knowledge I currently have. I don't need to be famous. I need art because I need purpose in my own life. I can't teach without my degree. So I am getting my degree. That does not mean I don't want to grow and learn personally. Does all of this mean I am not and never will be an artist? Some would say yes. Those people are down the path of fame though...so why does their opinion matter?
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling within your physical capabilities. I really don't know the extent of your ailment, but I know that if art is your passion, you will always be able to express yourself somehow. I'm reminded of what Chuck Close went through after his stroke and how his wife worked to enable him to keep painting. I truly hope there is a way for you to continue doing what you love throughout your life unhampered by further misfortune.
ReplyDeleteBut take heart, many of the best artists in the world have been somewhat introverted (not saying you are). The long hours these masters spent in self study and discipline to create the works they did is something our generation tends to dismiss. The openness with which modern art is supported, flaunted, and collaborated upon has really encouraged some awful work to be embraced. In the end, please just be you!
I'm living on the outskirts of San Fran near some of the best artists in the world, and although I'm physically able, I never go into the city. Now is this wrong? Who knows? But like Neil Gaimann says, just make good art.
I'm envious of the pursuit of your masters degree though. I often wonder what that experience would be like. But it's a great struggle just to define why one wants to be an artist. I was drawn to art through animation and ultimately wound up in a place I never wanted to be. Your story encourages me to keep refining my own purpose. Thanks for sharing.